The Reasons Why…

I’m a firm believer that everything everyone does is done for a reason. I’ve spent many nights struggling with homework, or missing plans with friends or wanting to give up and asking myself the question “why am I doing this?” Why am I pushing myself past the brink of exhaustion? Why am I missing sleep and going through the day barely being able to keep my eyes open? Why are my shoulders and neck in so much pain I’m getting tension headaches from studying nonstop? Why do I ditch plans with my friends in order to study and do homework? So many questions I ask myself all the time, so I decided to make a little list to remind myself of why it is that I do this.

1.) My parents. The most supportive humans I know. They do anything and everything for me, even when I don’t ask. They offer to pay for my books, help with my bills, make me dinner whenever I need it, and are my biggest fans. Once I start nursing school I will need to move in with them because I will have to quit my job to be able to focus on school. When approached with this idea, they were so supportive and willing to do whatever it takes to make my life easier. They even offered to buy me a trailer that can go on their property so I will have my own space and quiet area to study and be alone. They have pushed me and supported me to believe in myself even when I wanted to give up. My parents have truly made it so that any doubts I have about being able to make it through school are gone. Even when I don’t ask, they are offering help and doing whatever they have to in order to make my life easier. I work my butt off to show them that I appreciate all their support, and that it is helping me accomplish these good grades. I work my butt off so someday I can take care of them, and repay them for all they’ve done for me.

2. ) My sister, brother in law, and niece. My sister is one of the people I look up to the most. She is strong, smart, caring and so hardworking. She was much more dedicated in high school and college than I was and graduated with honors from St. Martins University with her bachelors in criminal justice. I admire her so much for all she has accomplished, and never thought I’d be able to have that kind of academic dedication. Somehow by channeling my inner “Christy” I’ve discovered a dedication and strength I never knew I had. This dedication inspires me to do better and push myself harder in all my academic endeavors. Her and my brother in law have given me the best gift in the form of my amazing niece Kailee. I work my butt of everyday in hopes that she will someday be proud of me. That someday she will want to work as hard as her mom did, and as hard as her aunt did to make something of herself. I love knowing my sister and brother in law are proud of me, and cannot wait until Kailee is just as proud.

3. ) My friends and coworkers. The support I have seen from all of the people that surround me is insane! I didn’t expect everyone to be so proud of me and always looking out for me in my educational journey. I don’t know what I’d do without everyone’s support, and it drives me to do even better than I have already done. Whenever I have my doubts about school and think a class may be to hard, my friends and coworkers are there to remind me that I am smarter than I think, and stronger than I seem. They never let me give up and always show me things within myself that I long forgot were there. Not only in school do they support and push me but also in my fitness goals, and to discover that I am stronger in many other ways than I believed I was. I am surrounded by the BEST group of people in the world and wouldn’t have it any other way. For EVERYONE who supports me, I do this for you! I’m working my butt of to show you that you weren’t wrong to believe in me. I work my butt off to show you that I listen to your advice, your criticism, and your help and am always using your words to better myself in every way! You all are truly my heart and soul!

4.) MYSELF. Most importantly, I’m doing this for MYSELF. I never thought I’d go back to school, I never thought I’d find a career, and I never thought I’d find somewhere I belong. I have shown myself that I can achieve anything I put my mind to and that I should never give up. I have found a strength and inspiration and drive within myself that I have never seen before. I’m so inspired by myself above all others that I just want to keep looking forward with even more perseverance than I ever have before. I’m doing this for my future, for my happiness, and for my future family. I don’t ever want to look back and think “what if”. I want to be able to look back and know I made the right decision and didn’t let anything hold me back, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I put in the hard work now, so that in the future my life can be easy. So that I can have a career I love in the health care industry, and support myself and eventual family. I’m worrying now, so that all my worries will be gone later. So I can retire after years of happiness as a nurse. So that I can take care of my friends and family, and give them back all they have given me. I am doing everything I never thought I could do, or thought I WOULD do in order to make myself and my life better everyday.

The bottom line is, whenever I think I want to give up, I need to look at the bigger picture. I may struggle now with school, money, and time management. But someday, all those worries will be gone, and I will be in an even happier place than I am now. I will have gone through all of this struggle for a reason, and my family, friends, and MYSELF will have gotten me through.  I will show everyone that their belief and support for me does not go unnoticed. I will prove everyone who doubted me wrong. I will continue to discover things inside myself I didn’t know were there, and I will continue to grow everyday. Those who are stuck in my past or are not moving forward with me, I hope that someday you will find the strength within yourself to do as I did. If you’re ever too afraid to take the leap, just do it. Support will come from all areas, even the ones you least expect. Never doubt yourself, and always make sure you remember the reasons as to why you’re doing what you’re doing. Nothing worth having comes easy.

Sincerly,

Mollie<3

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The Beginning

For years I have felt lost, like something in my life was missing and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Trying endlessly to find myself through jobs, and friends, and anything in between. Every time I thought I knew who I was there was always something in the back of my head telling me that this isn’t what my life should be.

Growing up is never easy, so if anyone ever tells you it is, they’re lying. I went through years of heartbreak. I moved out on my own and struggled paycheck to paycheck. I laughed so hard I almost peed, I cried so hard I almost puked. I struggled through insecurities about my body, my skin, my height, my hair and anything in between. I fought with those I loved, and lost friends who I thought would never walk away. I struggled beyond belief these past two years to truly eliminate all negativity from my life and become who I wanted to be, and to no longer feel that lost feeling that had plagued me for so long.

If anyone knows me, they know my greatest strength (not to toot my own horn) is my humor. Nothing in life gives me more pleasure than making people laugh. Sometimes (more often than not) my jokes are inappropriate,and can be at a bad time. But they always lighten the mood, and the situation to make others happy. I love knowing others are smiling because of me and that I can make something sunny from something dark. My second greatest strength would be my intelligence. I am (toot toot) very smart, and love intellectual conversations and learning about things such as space, history, and anything in between. Sometimes I believe my intelligence is overlooked because of all my immature jokes, and upbeat personality. In my quest to once again discover my intelligence, I found myself.

When I got my first job in the medical field as a Gastroenterologist technician, my life came together. I get to work with some of the most amazing people and Doctors. I work closely with a few woman who I have developed such a strong friendship with that I would give anything for them, and they would give anything for me. For that, I am forever grateful. But it also helped me discover my love for the medical field and desire to be a nurse.

I started my first quarter of school in December and despite never working full time and going to school I actually did great. I finished my first quarter with two A’s, and so much confidence. I found my love for school again, and wanted to work harder and study more to be the best I can be. I know the next few years of my life are going to be hard, and involve a lot of changes with my money, my living situation, and even quitting my job in order to attend nursing school. But nothing makes me more excited than my future, and my career. I’m becoming the person I was always meant to be. On my own, with no help from anyone else. An independence I never thought I’d have, and now I’m happier alone than with anyone else.

I am surrounded by a constant support for friends, family, and coworkers. There is no way I could mention you all, but I hope you know I am FOREVER grateful for all you guys do for me. From good luck before a test, to high fives when I do well, to help with homework. I am so blessed and full of love for each and every one of you. I don’t know what I’d do without support from those I love. I will forever try to repay all of you for the love I’ve felt. It’s nice to know that other people support my dreams and are happy for me that I finally feel like I belong.

I hope to keep up on this blog throughout the years to follow, and I hope anyone struggling to find themselves can see this and find inspiration. You don’t need ANYONE to make yourself happy, and a little bit of hard work goes a long way. Prove everyone wrong, and always kick butt. Also, never forget your worth, and never stop trying to make yourself better than who you were yesterday. You’ll never be younger than you are RIGHT NOW, so do something crazy! Attempt something you’re afraid of! Enroll in school! Kiss that guy! Move to someplace you’ve never been where you know no one!  Travel! Save money or spend a lot of money on something you really want! Lifes too short to be scared. I’m learning to face my fears on dream at a time! So come on this journey with me, you won’t regret it, I promise.

Sincerly,

Mollie ❤